in english class we’re all presenting a song that means something to us and today a girl from my class presented a Michael Jackson song. it was totally okay with me because i love him and he was one of my greatest heroes and still is. the problem though was that my teacher then wanted to talk about him and how we had reacted upon his death. the truth – i’m not over his death yet. every time i see him or has to talk about his death i start crying. so all i did was sitting in the back of the room without saying anything because if i did i would start crying and embarrass myself in front of everyone. i wish i could just get over it soon and go back to my normal relaxed fandom. but i miss him so much. <3
sorry, i’m sure y’all are tired of hearing about MJ by now but i needed to get it out.
..another problem i have is this guy i think, i like. the reason i say think is because i have been single for the past five years and i don’t know it i like him because i’m beginning to be desperate or if i really do like him. anyways.. i was at a party in november and i danced with him and couple of my friends and afterward he came up to us and said something (i don’t exactly remember what it was. i think it was something about how good we were) and i answered him (but i don’t remember what i said either) and then he just stood there staring at me before some girl pulled him away and my friends and i left. ever since i’ve been keeping an eye on him (that sounds so wrong) at school and i think he looks at me a lot but i can’t really tell because when i like someone, i have the ability to see what i want to see. then last friday i was at another party and he was there too but this time he didn’t even look at me once. it made me really depressed and i left early. i can’t go anywhere at school without thinking about if he is somewhere near me and when i sit in the hall (where we eat lunch) i can’t keep my eyes off of him. oh my! i’m desperate, aren’t i? geez.. sometimes i could just hit myself. i hope it’s faith’s way of telling me to not get attached to a guy before i really figure life out.
life sucks sometimes.. but you just have to get back on that horse, right?
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